Most people would tell you “trust” is a critical component of a relationship. But I would propose that it is actually the major cause of broken relationships.
You might be thinking I am off on this one, but hear me out.
Let’s answer a couple of questions. Does trusting in someone create an expectation for them to perform to a certain level in order for that trust to be maintained? In other words, can this trust be broken? I think the answer to this is “yes”. What if you love someone with the same love Jesus has for us? Does this come with any expectations? I believe the answer to this is “no”. This is a love that never fails! (See 1 Cor 13:1-7) So based on those two answers, let’s look at a third question. If we desire healthy, lasting relationships and marriages, should we base them on “trust” or “love”? Love is my answer! There is a popular quote that states, “Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.” So why would we build a relationship on something that takes seconds to break and forever to repair?
The word “trust” is found 125 times in the New King James Bible. Of those instances, not one tells us to put our trust in others. On the contrary, these scriptures tell us to put ALL our trust in God and nothing else. Proverbs 3:5-6 says “Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” If we think of our capacity to trust as a whole pie, then the Lord is saying the entire pie should go to Him. And if we give ALL our pie to God, then there shouldn’t be any left for anyone else. God is the only one who is worthy of our trust! I realize accepting this concept is a paradigm shift, but if trust remains foundational to our marriages and relationships, our foundation will eventually crumble. When the foundation of a relationship is love alone (the Father’s love without trust), there is no expectation for anything in return and thus no cause for offense. If we mix trust into a foundation of love in our relationships, it is no longer the love of the Father!
If we truly grasp this concept and live it out, we will see an end to divorce and broken relationships!
Challenge: My challenge to us over the next few weeks is to ask the Heavenly Father to help us to establish or reestablish relational foundations that are only based on love and not trust. And that we would also learn to truly give 100% of our trust to the Lord…the whole pie! I realize we will not likely ever arrive at a full actualization of this, but it is worthy of our pursuit! It is part of our journey. With the help of the Holy Spirit and the grace of the Father, we will continue to be transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory! (2 Cor 3:18)
We love you…but our trust is not in you…it is in the Lord! 🙂
Mike and Kristi